Tuesday Traffic

This property gets the most traffic on Tuesdays. Therefore, let me let loose. I did not sleep at all, and am now aware of more of my audience. People I didn’t even think knew I had a website really do know. Love you guys!

To the trolls and discounters, stay silent, or I will slay.

I worked for a company and found myself being incessantly called and texted. I could not take it without pay. I did not get paid a penny for my time. The pathetic POS thinks I am going to hack him. Sir, you have been mistaken. Slavery was abolished in 1865, your ass has been reported to the government.

As a friend said, “never underestimate someone who has nothing to lose.” All I have left is my life.

I busted my ass for this dysfunctional doofus. I am trying to get out of a hole I DID NOT CHOOSE to be placed in. If anyone wants the best diet plan, try poverty. It works wonders!

Also, I write Memoirs, I document everything in analog. This venomous company preyed on someone at a disadvantage. To the trolls that think I rake in money selling, I pay 7% in fees to PayPal, 10% to eBay, and for every mistake the USPS makes. That, right there is not the American Fuckin’ Dream. Everything is documented.

I owe my electric company $500 and other utilities a minimum of $100 each. My house is in forbearance, and I am financially fucked. Despite the numerous marriage proposals from showing my tits covered in mud, those men do not have their wallet open, and if Prince Charming thinks he is showing up now after my 20 months of hell, he can get fucked and not by me.

No matter what, I work every day. I cry every day. Yet, I continue to put on an act of strength and stability. To those who ripped on my mental health, shame on you. I AM NOT THE PROBLEM, YOU ARE. You are the dredges of society that place people in personalities I call, impersonal.

As Marilyn Monroe said, “madness is genius.” Would I rather be rotten or remembered? I am a fully-functioning fuck-up. Discrimination disgusts me. People dance with their demons through drugs, alcohol, or other vices. I have always worked. Shit just doesn’t pay these days.

As I have aged, I have realized I wasted time waiting for the wrong people. Those who didn’t deserve being waited on. I also learned that the right people I may have bounced from. Yet, the right people continue to live their lives and show support. Empathy, a fucking rarity, means people who are there and always were. Life happens, but you try to keep in touch. Sometimes it gets challenging.

I love that I have the freedom to be me. I hope one day everyone can possess the ability to tell anyone to get fucked, make their own choices, and only answer to themselves. As I said previously, slavery was abolished. You are NO ONE’S bitch unless you choose to be.

If I disconnected from you or deleted you, maybe I made a mistake. I find it amazing that Americans do not confront conflict. Other cultures want to learn what went wrong and make it right. That right there, I deem a pitfall of The Divided States baby.

I am going to start my day and finish planning my Halloween idea. I also will be hitting the streets today with my microphone. Despite this country being uglier than me without makeup, I will make sure I put the powder on.

Writing does not pay-2.png

To that lost soul, who still visits me frequently, find yourself. Was blasting my ass to your 80,000 followers the right choice? You have 80,000. I prefer the world. Kind people do exist. I hope you find them. You certainly will not selling used beauty products.

As my hacker once told me before our friendship fucking derailed, “c’est la vie.”

Thursday Thought

I am guessing you are still off every Thursday. Human behavior will always remain primitive, almost predictable.

I can tell you this: YOU DID NOT CHOOSE ME.

You can live with that decision. I chose me. There is nothing here to see. Move along and abandon your virtual visits just like you opted to abandon me. You went with a weak woman who Is missing enamel on her teeth. Regret your relationship with the rebound chick.

I know if I had someone who loved me with the magnitude that I loved you, I would have moved a mountain to be with them. Perhaps you did not see it or feel it. I know I got lost in the haze with a horrible human being and did not see it.

Now, it is too late. My rearview mirror is so smashed. All I find myself doing is wallowing in the waters of my wasted life full of wreckage.

With my words, I create carnage. There have not been any known fatalities over the past few years. Yet, no matter what, no one has ever thought I was good enough.

However, I am the writer. I get the last laugh.

my Sanity Says Sorry

Sometimes the weight of the world becomes too heavy for me. I am a grown woman who has never and will never tolerate being spoken to as if I am a child.

If I have deleted or blocked you today, know you are burdensome. I have enough problems. Seek other outlets to carry you. You are too heavy for me.

My only priority is me. I have no time, patience, or shreds of sanity to withstand your bullshit.

I am no one’s bitch, only my own.

Do not think about me as a loss. Think about yourself and why and how you lost me.

Seeking Silence and Solitude

It never stops. The emails, social media messages, and requests. Never from anyone I know of course. Why help? Do people find some sick sense of satisfaction as they sit back and watch me struggle? Voyeurs visiting but never offering a helping hand. I picture them distastefully licking their lips. I want vengeance by succeeding. This destitute dreamer is determined. However doubt, upon finding myself disposable, has been feeding the demons. My family does not even give a fuck.

I always wake up to at least 30 messages every morning from strangers, my only support system. They try for me, but things do not progress. I am exhausted, angry, overwhelmed, stressed, anxious, cold, and bitchy.

The bills are not getting paid. I am sinking. My head, just barely above water has started to fill with water. Soon, my lungs will fill up, I will start suffocating, and will not be able to scream. If I scream, what good will that do? It has been proven that no one has answered any calls for help. A blood-curdling beckoning would not move anyone into action.

Here I am just festering and being fed on by societal fleas. Famished fleas feasting on me. The sacrificial and suffering lamb whom I have become.

Fuck, I am dark. I always have been embodied in darkness, never any light. I try every single day. I try to put my best foot forward. This morning, I shattered a glass and put my boots on in the pitch black and a shard of glass was in the boot. The glass in the boot is a prime example of me putting my best foot forward to only get sliced, struggle, and bleed. Will I bleed out or will the blood begin to clot?

Suddenly Social

Some shit bag who has a hollowed-out soul has suddenly stepped onto the social media landscape. Seeing his posts, I shudder. I have much more I can say, but will not-for now.

I am getting very sick and tired of onlookers mentioning my posts and my content.

What I say on social media is ”going to bite me in the ass.” I've already been bitten darlings. The bite has knocked me down a few sizes. Focus on yourself because by focusing on me, you lose sight of yourself. Work out your own shit before stepping in mine.

To you ingrates, I mean, I have lost weight in an unhealthy manner. My nails keep breaking because I am lacking nutrients, and the last thing I need is YOUR BULLSHIT.

I see you bitch about your relationship problems and how you are tired. I WISH I HAD THOSE PROBLEMS. If you have nothing nice to say, shut your fucking mouth because I will come back at you.

Instead of waiting for karma to take out some of these people, maybe I will make a wish list on this website. Did you not see that I want to verbally fuck some people up?

I like having a silent audience. Stay that way and mind your own.

I am fucking around with fonts because this is my property, my content, my words, and my ass for the taking. Putting others first has given me NOTHING in life. I have NEVER written for anyone other than myself for 38 years and this is mine. Watch me and weep because I am not a weak, run-of-the-mill woman.

Diminished

I just hit publish to release a book of poetry I’ve held onto for 11 months. Details to follow when it goes live. I am hoping to release two more books of poetry soon that have been done.

I need to get all this content out. Foolishly, I thought, I would find a publisher or an agent. Neither has happened. I do not have time to waste.

In speaking to a new friend, I stated I do not know what to do with all of this content, They responded, “give it to the fucking world.”

POTENT PMS

My PMS cannot be quelled. I am blasting the Badlands album by Halsey.

YOU CAN SELL MY INFORMATION. YET, WHEN THE BUYER GETS TO ME, THEY WILL BE PAYING ME. THIS WHOLE STRUGGLE SHIT IS GETTING OLD.

My words and insanity are no longer free for the taking.

I am not a PATHETIC PUPPET. I don’t have money and if that justifies your mistreatment of me, you will be sorry. I have never been weak since childhood. I have had MOMENTS of weakness falling for fuck nuts’ falsities, BUT I have fought and worked my ass off.

I HAVE NO ONE-ONLY MYSELF.

MY IMMEDIATE FAMILY BLOWS. I HAVE MY MOTHER’S ICE RUNNING THROUGH MY VEINS.

You will not FUCK with my intellectual property. If you’re not paying, I am not playing.

SHITTY SELLER PROTECTION

Six months ago, I wrote the Mercari articles. It is my most read content courtesy of searches regarding that platform. They have changed some things from what I hear, but just like The Secret, put something out into the universe and you will see results.

Today, eBay and the USPS have pissed me off enough where I will sit down and articulate articles where I will use my words as my weapons since I have run out of options. They want to ignore me and offer me no seller protection, therefore, it is time to reveal their inadequacies.

To think all of this advice I give for free.

If you want beauty products, I sell them and will create a listing on my own website. E-commerce is integrated on here. I HATE SELLING because I am the one who bends over and takes it up the ass with no lube.