Honest and Hard-Working

In my personal life, I am expected to, “since I do not have a ‘real job’ and have no income coming in” to be at certain people’s disposal.

I am not loafing around doing nothing. I am selling everything I own, which is a part-time job to say the least. I have two books in print that will be released by the end of the year. I restructured my website and I have been designing things for my mother, my only customer who gets everything at cost.

I do not need to wake up to an email telling me I am not spending enough time on something that is personal.

I work like a mule. Due to waiting for my publisher or dream company, I have to work for myself and on myself for now. I do not have a second income earner.

Oh and why is one of my largest audiences in China?

Nostalgic Night

I am watching old Unplugged shows from the 90’s when MTV mattered. It’s an era that birthed my creativity. It is still a shame that decades later, society still shames us. I no longer have shame.

The dark souls drawn to me believed in me because they could not believe in themselves. They disappeared because they were not strong enough to show up. I will show them the wild card can win.

Many of those that inspired me back then did not survive. If they only knew how many people they helped survive. They inspired me and by them breaking through, I fostered my creativity as I wrote voraciously.

I am telling you, throughout the Memoirs, you will see I always felt I was something. I am just a little late showing up. I have different artists inspiring me today, but as I sit here watching these old videos, I am reminded how much I related to these artists. I felt more connected to famous artists in my teenage years than I had with any other teenagers.

It is still difficult to relate to people still when people continue to hide. I have always been the lone wolf and will continue to be. The difference is now when they come back for me, I know I no longer need any of them. I have the one person I need. My ride or die: myself.

Missing Me

If you find yourself missing me, I apologize. I am excavating content from many moons ago and I am doing YouTube videos. I have a channel. You should watch me ramble. I am doing it to prove I am eloquent or can be. On the bottom of any page on this site (excluding the blog because this can be endless) are my social media connection blocks.

I realize that sometimes, I need to speak rather than type or write. No one really watches them, but they motivate me every day to look like a human being.

There are also a lot of posts on my private page. That is if you buy the book, which is the best work I have ever done.

I may go silent until people start buying my books. Remember I am used to handwriting everything. The 2nd book of Memoirs will be out before you know it. School yourself on my life.



Something Stirring

Not to toot my own horn, but Amazon sells 8 million paperback books. I have had my book on the market for 10 days exactly around this time was when it went live. I am so proud of myself and thankful to everyone who is buying it and reading it. It was a huge risk writing it. After losing my job in March and looking for another position, I was riddled with rejections. Not one to sit still, I wrote a book. A book that has at least one thought and one behavior everyone has probably had or done, but would never admit to it. I went there. What else could I lose? This year, I lost everything I had known at that present moment. I am strong. I am fierce. I am brave. While I may not have certain degrees or certifications, I proved to myself that I can do anything. So can you.


This is in all  overall  selling on Amazon in Paperback books. Out of 8 million books. 10 days in. Can we get to number 1 so I can find someone to maybe give me a contract? Editing is the worst for me.

This is in all overall selling on Amazon in Paperback books. Out of 8 million books. 10 days in. Can we get to number 1 so I can find someone to maybe give me a contract? Editing is the worst for me.

Standardized Sadness

I have a high IQ. I don't know the exact score, but I know I am intelligent. I graduated 12th in my class. A 3.8 GPA was a failure to me. One thing I could never do well with was standardized tests. I don't know why, but I always would score very low on them.

For example, when I had to take the SATs, I got a 920 out of a potential 1600. That was with studying, workshops, and reading books. I would get 4.0's in college though. I just can't do standardized tests. 

I applied for a position many months ago. I heard from them a month ago to fill out the paperwork. Yesterday, I finally had the honor to take the test. Needless to say, I didn't pass. I can't do standardized tests. It is a shame. Just because I don't ace a test does not mean I cannot learn how to do the work at hand. 

I never believed in standardized tests and I never will. I remember with the SATs, this girl as dumb as rocks scored higher than me. I tried so hard on the test yesterday too. It took me 3 hours It was honestly a great opportunity. I am grateful to have been considered and to get to the final step of the process. 

At least I have learned that in the total global population, only 5% can actually write a book. I fall into that 5%. I am going to work on my 5th edit. It's a quick read. Maybe because I read it 50 times. 

Global Gains

I am so fortunate for the AMA Feed! They want to make the world a better place! They strive for societal strength. Tatiana is amazing! 

I am doing an AMA on my upcoming book and also you can ask me anything. From blogging to hiding my writing from the world for my whole life. I am taking questions now and it officially kicks off on July 2, 2018 at noon! 

Fellow east coasters, you can virtually spend your lunch break with me!

You can ask questions anonymously! I love the opportunity for the global platform. 


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