Determination versus Desperation

I am going to throw a Hail Mary pass in my life. I am not desperate. I am determined. Every time I try to leave the book behind, it resurfaces. I have to write a letter and let a stranger know things only I know.

I have an amazing friend who is a guy. He has this sixth sense and always reaches out when I am up to something good or bad. I will always be business-minded, so we talked shop, but I told him what I was up to. He assumed it was regarding a character of the male persuasion. Hell no, it is all about me. The main character. You can’t choose who you love, but you must work and force yourself to love yourself. At the end of it all, who else is there for you? Really. The world doesn’t crumble when you are alone in your darkest hours. You can make it through. You have to fight like hell. I am going to fight for what I want. It has nothing to do with anyone BUT MYSELF.

I do not want or need anyone. That is the beauty of it all. I can look back and say, it was all me. Every decision I made for myself. I do not seek anyone else’s approval.

By no means, do I deem this desperation as I once would have. I am determined. This book is the one thing I have ever done in my life that I believe in. It unites people. No one judged me. Shit, all these years and I could have been myself?

Six degrees of separation. I am close. I cannot wait any longer for something to manifest. Everything happens for a reason. I will discuss that later.