Conversation with a self-proclaimed stranger. I write everything down. Remember even if you remove content or your website, it still shows up in a search.
“Detective stuff is your specialty. The more you know, the more you do. Supporting yourself shouldn’t be a problem.” Perhaps if people were free of judgment, I’d find work. Yes I am onto you. Why wouldn’t you hire me? I’d only make you better. We both have trust issues. Let’s sign NDAs. Fun known fact, the FBI tried to recruit my mother when she was 17. Maybe it is genetic?
“I bought your stories. You wanna be J.K. Rowling? Write another Harry Potter and change the lives of millions except you don’t write about kids and magic.” No I do not Bromeo. My life is stranger than fiction. I get freak asses like you engaging with me.
“You can do what you do best. Either writing, SEO, or a combination of both.” Maybe I cannot write.
“You are not simple. Am I talking to a hacker?” No shit for brains. I was the ONE who was hacked.
“You learned too much and are too smart. You can’t fool me you nut. Too bad you need to act stupid sometimes. You need to give some space and confidence to others. Otherwise, you cannot cooperate. You are too smart. You may just be setting me up to something.” Now there is only one person I would go after.
“You are something different. Shitty stuff suits you. The Melissa I knew has come back. HAHA.” Shitty stuff meaning as in men, like you?
“Write me something that will take your brilliant brain less than ten minutes. You are capable of something more challenging.” I wrote something and they felt insulted. I was due to get paid a few bucks and I received nothing. Story of my life.
“I will help you find a job. The rest is on you. I can give you more than you can take.” Who else would this person be? There is only one person who continues to challenge me. I am a big girl, you can release this wounded bird. If you think you have been helping me, you have only truly been hurting me.
Conversation turned to Google and SEO. “Umm…I need to relax. You can do more….I will get you something asap before you become homeless. (Insert GIF). He will protect you as well.” This guy did not do shit for me. He morphed into some other alias. I am over the hiding behind usernames. I know who it is. This gentleman talked about protecting me. I am pretty sure I am protecting him. His identity. His multiple lives, personalities, and his secrets. Yes, I taunt him and rip on him because he devastated me. He sent me on this journey. I underestimated him and now I am over him. I need him to move on. I want to speak to the person I knew and ask why. Does he find a sick joy in seeing me struggle?
"You are too talkative. Are you on drugs today? This is so not you. This is not the Melissa I knew. You can start over somehow if you just behave. You choose the hard way. Either bear with the current situation or give up your dream and bend to reality. The consequences of what you have chosen. A road unknown. A destination in the middle of nowhere.” When you lose it all and the chips are stacked against you, you transform. When you lose it all, your vision of humanity becomes crystal clear. I see through you. I have seen through you. You left me for dead.