Such Stress

I have a tattoo on my shoulder saying, “Sometimes love is not enough and the road gets tough. I don’t know why.” It is a line from the song Born to Die by Lana Del Rey. I got it after driving home from New England and thinking about my life two years ago.

When I am in pain, I am awful. My life has been full of pain. The more I hurt, the more I hunt. If I am going to bleed, the other party will too. I am a writer. It is my coping mechanism. I believe when you love someone, you fight for them. I fought like hell and it wasn't enough. After endless rejections in every aspect of life, I am never enough.

I have been thinking of someone and can feel them. I know I am on their mind. The analytics do not lie.

Part of me wishes they would come and rescue me like they tried to when the house of cards fell in April 2018. Who am I kidding though? I am not worth saving.